Changes, They Are A-Comin'.

Today I received this message on facebook (accompanied by a friend request):

Penny,
I know you have been very hurt. I apologize for all the wrong I have done you, I never meant to harm you in any way. All the things that I said about appreciating you and all you did is true. I never knew the tax situation was as bad as it was, I would have addressed it asap if I did. 
Please forgive me. I know you have had a hard time and I am sorry. I just want you to know that I am deeply sorry.


And this was my response:


Rolynn,
I am not sure what has prompted this sudden burst of sorry since you have repeatedly denied everything. So what are you apologizing for? 
I will assume that you are apologizing for badmouthing me to your employees and customers. Telling lies about me screwing you over and that you had to let me go? Perhaps it was for telling people that I caused you legal and financial problems? 
We know the truth though, don't we? You didn't tell those same people that I did everything in my power to help you out financially - even loaning you money so you could get yarn in your shop? And I wasn’t the first. Hopefully, I will be the last. Doubtful though.
YOU caused your own financial troubles. YOU can't control your spending. YOU don't have any business sense whatsoever. YOU didn’t want the stress of budgeting and paying your bills. So, I took that on for you. And when I tightened the screws and you couldn’t pay your personal bills out of the shop account anymore, you found someone new. Someone who wouldn’t tell it like it is. Someone who didn’t care if the account was overdrawn. Lucky you. How is that working out for you now?
You have NO idea how I have been hurt. Don’t even say you do. You don’t know how I feel. I am sure you did appreciate me – as long as I was helping you out. So you could hide from the bill collectors by blaming it on your “bookkeeper”. So you could explain your financial problems by pointing the finger at me.
If you didn’t know the tax situation was that bad, it was because you weren’t listening to me. I told you repeatedly that the taxes needed to be paid. And they would have been. If there had been money in the account. I don’t write bad checks. I don’t write checks and hope there is money in the account to cover them when they hit the bank. You see, I have a reputation that I chose to uphold. Most accounting and financial people value that reputation. I worked very hard for many years to acquire it. For you to slander my reputation to save yours is reprehensible. 
All of that being said, I will accept your apology. Assuming it is for what I have outlined above. But, it changes nothing. I will never be back in Enchanted. It has become a place where I would never be comfortable. With the changes you have planned, it is a place I would never shop anyway. Nothing on your new agenda interests me in the slightest. 
We will never be friends. I am not sure we ever were. I thought we were, but friends don’t treat friends like you have treated me. I cannot be friends with someone that I cannot trust. You treat everyone so nicely and then you talk about them behind their back. So many people warned me about you. People that you hurt before me told me that eventually it would be my turn. I defended you. I stuck up for you. 
For that, I get a reprimand from someone I have never spoken to. From someone who doesn’t know anything about me from ME. Someone who accuses me of causing you such hurt on top of legal and financial problems. Can you even imagine such embarrassment and humiliation? In your text, you said you never chose anyone over me. You most certainly did. You chose a person that customers had repeatedly complained to you about. Someone who allowed her 4 unruly kids to run rampant in a place of business. Barefoot and dirty. Screaming and fighting. As she wondered around – oblivious to the chaos. I stopped taking Addison to the store when I felt she interfered with the type of business I thought you were trying to build at Enchanted. A place of escape and relaxation. Looking back on it now – Addi was the best behaved child ever in that store.
I am glad that I have Marie and my friends at Unique Yarns. They will help me regain my love of knitting and yarn. Friendships built on love, trust, mutual respect and with no strings attached. 
Good luck on your new endeavor with Enchanted.


My response was honest and completely heartfelt.  I am preparing myself for a year of change in 2012.  I will take better control of my life, my health, and my feelings.  I want to take control of the anxiety, depression, fear, and panic that has consumed so much of me over the last 5 years.  It is going to be a difficult daily battle.  I won't be successful every day - but I will never be successful without trying.  I will always be snarky and sarcastic, but it won't be because I am hiding behind it.  It will be because that is me.  I will be cutting away the things that bring me down and get me off track of my goals.  I will surround myself with positive people who can have a good influence on my life.


Needless to say, the friend requested was declined.  Step one, perhaps?