My own family told me that she was taking advantage of me. I just saw her as someone who needed a lot of help because she seriously lacked the business sense to run a business and be successful. I thought I could be at least part of that help.
Lots of people told me the store would never be successful. Instead, I saw lots of potential. It would take a lot of self restraint, lots of hard work and the help of many.
I knew in my heart we could never be best friends - she was too "different" from me. Different beliefs. Different life styles. But, we did have a lot in common and I thought that was enough to make us good friends. I was so uncomfortable when she would tell people that we were best friends.
I knew in my head she was using me. I ignored those signs for a long time. I continued to work for free - lots of hours. Giving up my time and my life to help her make the store a success.
I knew with every fiber of my being that she couldn't do it alone. She couldn't manage her money, her time or her life. She was out of control with her spending. She asked for advice and she never listened to it. She was going to do it her way.
I think that is her modus operandi. She seeks out friends who will help her, then she uses them up - physically, emotionally and sometimes financially. Then, she moves on. Another wave of friends to expend. Before I even know what happened - she had another group of friends who were taking the place I didn't even know I had vacated. She started ignoring me when I was in the store - especially when her new friends were around.
I stopped feeling comfortable. I stopped feeling welcome. I stopped going to the store.
I don't know when she started badmouthing me. It is definitely one of her favorite things to do. Sweet as pie to your face and talking smack behind your back. To and about everyone. Several times I asked her what she was saying about me to others. I knew she had to be. She always denied it. I knew better. Too fake.
Then the rumors. The lies. That was the painful part. I didn't care if she was telling others that I was a horrible knitter. Or maybe that I didn't jump on customers when they walked in the door - her version of customer service. I don't like it when people do it to me when I am shopping and I never felt comfortable doing it to others. But to say I caused "legal and financial problems" for her was over the line. Out and out lies. And hurtful. I did everything in my power to help her to be successful. I stressed conserving money to get caught up on the bills so she would be in great shape by January. She truly lacked self control. If there was money in the account, she had to spend it. If there wasn't money in the account, she just overdrew it. I was her excuse for lack of financial control. She needed something to tell the next person in line.
Lots of promises and dreaming big. It's not a bad thing - unless you have no intentions of keeping your promises and dreams are bigger than life.
I am finished with her and her store. Or, I will be when she repays me what she owes me. For now, I have lost interest in my knitting. It is like a big ugly bruise that is painful when I touch it. I am going to set it aside for a while and concentrate on other things.
It will take me a very long time to trust another person. There is a lesson to be learned from this experience and I have learned it. I will continue to look for the good in people - but I will certainly look harder. I will believe half of what I hear and question the other half.
I wish her well. Someday, I will forgive. I will never forget.
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